Life goals, struggles, and realizations

So, you'd think that after having a week's paid vacation I'd come back to work refreshed and ready to get at it right? Absolutely not what happened. Over the week, my mom and I had several heart to heart conversations dealing with my future. I already have my BA in Communication Design, but don't like any of my job prospects in that field, so I have decided that my best option is to further my education in a more specific field, one that I can really get down and dirty and fall in love with my job. Interior design is the current choice. I've talked a lot about going to a local community college to get my AA in Interior Design, but during these heart to hearts my mom expressed her concern with my going backwards in the education field when I could spend my time getting my masters in the same field. After spending several hours searching online for Masters programs in Interior Design, I got really flustered and nervous. Would I have the skills necessary to succeed in the ID field having no particular background in that area? Would I put my heart into it and still not succeed? All of which got me really frustrated, and left me feeling like I'm still missing something.

So instead of masters programs, I began the search for BS in Interior Design. I found a credible online program through the Art Institute of Pittsburgh, but the price of it is OUTRAGEOUS! I'd love to say that I could justify the cost, but I'm really not sure I can. I'm working full-time and coaching, and comfortably breaking even (with some room to spare) each month. Taking part in this program would put me at an uncomfortable position financially, and that isn't something I can handle.

I feel like I'm at a fork in the road of life, and I have no idea what either of the paths will lead me towards. I feel absolutely lost. My job does not give me a lot of satisfaction, but its a paycheck, which is more than a lot of people can bring home at the end of the day. I'm happy that I'm employed and I like the people I work with but I strive to do something that leaves me feeling fulfilled, not bored out of my mind.

Here is a list of things I'd love to accomplish in life but not sure I am up for the challenge :
1) Interior Design/Drafting
+ I have always wanted to design a home. I know exactly how I want my first house laid out, and know most of how I want it decorated and designed
+ I'm ABSOLUTELY obsessed with the HGTV's show Hidden Potential...making something beautiful from something awful excites me
- Requires more school, and more money that I don't have at the moment.
- I have no idea if I'd even be any good at this...the fear of failure haunts me!
2) Real Estate
+ I think helping someone find the home of their dreams would be amazing and ultimately very fulfilling
+ I can't wait to own my own home, and I'm obsessed with the shows : Property Virgins, and My First Home
- Bad real estate market
- No steady income, only make money when you sell a home
3) Web Design
+ I went to school for this, and have already worked on two websites that are available online
+ Time flies when I am designing a website
- My computer sucks, and I don't own any quality web design software = $$$$$
- I fear that I am no more creative than the next guy...again fear of failure
4) Antique Store owner
+ I love old, authentic barns found in the midwest, and would love to refurbish one and turn it into a store of some kind
- $$$$$$$$$
5) Photographer
+ Again, goes back to my love of barns and old abandoned buildings, I think there is something beautiful and romantic about the wear and tear an old barn has gone through, the many tasks that have taken place through the years in that one building
+ I did my final project for photography class on barns, would love to further it and photograph more and produce a book
- My camera is only mediocre = $$$
- Many people don't see the beauty in these buildings and let them fall down or tear them down as a result of their lack of knowledge and thought

Well, I think thats it for now. Sorry it's so long...just trying to get all my thoughts down on "paper." Comments are welcome! Happy Tuesday!